One of the things I realized at the Immersion was that my sleep problems frequently drive my desires to binge. And that my coffee intake feeds my inability to sleep, and then I am laying in bed feeling hungry, wanting to eat. And when I used to drink, my sleeping problems completely excused the fact that I was drinking myself to sleep every night. I think I spent the first two years of my sobriety just not sleeping, ever. And AA coffee didn’t help!
Today is day nine with no coffee, whoo hoo!!! Just herbal teas. I made myself some green tea, and I was scared to drink it. I am still having problems falling asleep. I know it’s going to get better, but I just have to push through. Lately I have been envisioning my Higher Power speaking to me in Samuel L Jackson’s voice and telling me, “Go the fuck to sleep!”
I think that I have a cold. I thought it was allergies, but it’s not. Maybe it’s detox? Who fucking knows? In any case, I have literally blown through a box of kleenex today and I can barely breathe. I’m having soup and salad and a piece of toast right now, and I can’t taste any of it! I was just going to do smoothies today, but I am really having the urge to just CHEW something even though I can’t taste much.
I watched Supercharge Me on Youtube last night—a short little movie about a woman who decides to go raw for 30 days. I had done 100% raw for an entire summer in Florida once. Not sure why I stopped…probably due to alcohol and coffee and binge eating (surprise!). I was feeling really good, and then who knows what happened? I do like the fact that when I am ETL compliant, I am about 75% raw. There’s some interesting things in this film, although I love how everyone sidesteps the B12 supplementation question. Just take some fucking B12 already! And some iron. Geez. Cherries probably aren’t going to cut it. Sometimes the overt fanaticism and compltely unscientific behavior of the raw foodies gets me a little aggravated. Although I”m very woo woo in a lot of ways, I like how Dr. Fuhrman uses science and research to suggest the best ways to eat. Like cooking your mushrooms and tomatoes. And not eating a massive amount of raw spinach because of the oxalates.
OK, back to bed. Calling it a day at work and getting some rest.
Here’s the link to Supercharge Me if you are curious: