I had a whole heck of a lot of dental work done this week and it hurts and I can’t chew very well and I am freaked out. This is something I have been putting off for a very long time. My teeth are a mess from years of drinking, drugs and throwing up. I have been pretty much living in fear about taking care of this for…years. So it feels good to take action about it, but it is still scary. They weren’t kidding about the sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly part when they wrote the Big Book.
This Pink Floyd song pretty much is how I feel every time I have to take pain medicine after a surgical procedure. God, I hate pain meds. My sponsor was like, go home and take your vicodin as prescribed! I hate taking them and it scares the bejeebus out of me. I have been in a lot of fear and self-pity lately (hello, 10th step inventory. dammit). But I also have to remember: gratitude. Here’s a list:
Grateful for: sobriety/my sponsor/my recovery friends and support network/my dentist/my job/having dental insurance/working a program of recovery/making amends to my teeth/pain management/Syd Barrett
But on a positive note–speaking of gratitude— I was accepted to go to Dr. Fuhrman’s Immersion Program in April!!! I can’t wait. I will be going to New Jersey from April 6th through April 12th. I feel so lucky to have this opportunity. And so lucky to work for my amazing company.