stars can frighten

 

I had a whole heck of a lot of dental work done this week and it hurts and I can’t chew very well and I am freaked out. This is something I have been putting off for a very long time. My teeth are a mess from years of drinking, drugs and throwing up. I have been pretty much living in fear about taking care of this for…years. So it feels good to take action about it, but it is still scary. They weren’t kidding about the sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly part when they wrote the Big Book.

This Pink Floyd song pretty much is how I feel every time I have to take pain medicine after a surgical procedure. God, I hate pain meds. My sponsor was like, go home and take your vicodin as prescribed! I hate taking them and it scares the bejeebus out of me. I have been in a lot of fear and self-pity lately (hello, 10th step inventory. dammit). But I also have to remember: gratitude. Here’s a list:

Grateful for: sobriety/my sponsor/my recovery friends and support network/my dentist/my job/having dental insurance/working a program of recovery/making amends to my teeth/pain management/Syd Barrett

But on a positive note–speaking of gratitude— I was accepted to go to Dr. Fuhrman’s Immersion Program in April!!! I can’t wait. I will be going to New Jersey from April 6th through April 12th. I feel so lucky to have this opportunity. And so lucky to work for my amazing company.

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3 Comments

  1. I’m giving you big hugs, my friend. Fear is not fun. I was at Kripalu (a yoga retreat place) last spring, and one of the Healing Arts practitioners said something to me, in passing, that I’ve still not forgotten: “There are only two emotions: love and fear. Everything is one or the other.” I think about it all the time, I’m still trying to figure it out. But what I do love is that while you’re feeling so much fear, you also recognized the love and amends you’re giving to your teeth right now.

    Ok, now: SQUUUUEEEEEE!!!!!! I am SO FLIPPIN’ EXCITED for your Immersion!!!!!!!! Seriously, so so happy for you. So, so excited. Yippy!

  2. Dental work is no fun. I’m sorry that you’re in pain, and that you’re having to experience all of the non-fun things like taking pain meds and not chewing. But I’m very happy for you for getting it taken care of. In the long run you’re going to have better health because of it, but you already know this 🙂

    And YAY!!!!!!! Congrats on being accepted to the immersion. I’m sososososo excited for you. And this means we both get to see Dr. Fuhrman in April (mine’s on the 26th). Looking forward to swapping stories!

  3. OMG, yes! You’re BOTH gonna see Dr. F next month! Whohoooooo! Midwestern Me expects detailed posts and updates and info all about it, you two! I’m gonna live vicariously!

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