Day 13: My Lucky Number

Heard at the meeting I went to tonight:

“The best way to stay out of the food is to help other compulsive overeaters to stay out of the food.”

“Why does prayer and meditation work? it doesn’t matter. This isn’t Overeaters Analysis.”

“Abstinence is not about the ultimate deathcamp diet. It’s about showing the ultimate love to ourselves.”

At work today, I had some moment where I just wanted to eat a massive quantity of goddamned peanut butter crackers. The Snacks of Satan were calling, loudly. My coworker tauntingly threw one at me and said, “Just eat one. It won’t hurt.” Are you FUCKING KIDDING? I almost screamed at him, but I bit my tongue and asked that he please not do that. I prayed and asked for help and made myself a cup of coffee instead. Disease was kicking and screaming, WANTING…I get very frustrated and tired at the end of my work day and that tends to be when I get crazy food thoughts.

Speaker tonight was talking about what he eats. “Dead animals, dead plants, dead fruit…”. No thank you on the dead animals. Trying not to judge but man, that made me sad. I listened to a great interview today with Victoria Moran on Erin Red’s podcast. It reaffirmed my spiritual commitment to a vegan way of life. I loved the quotation from the meeting tonight about abstinence being a way to show the ultimate love to ourselves. Showing love through a vegan lifestyle to both myself and the animals.

Speaking of love, scale hopping is not a way to show love to myself. Yet another reminder. Victoria said in the podcast, “This is about not eating for a fix one day at a time.”

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