I’ll See Your Crisis And Raise You An Epidemic

I am so sick of seeing the constant headless pictures of overweight people in the news lately. If I have to hear or see one more story about the “Obesity Crisis”, I’m going to bitch slap someone. Suddenly it’s the Fat Headless Horsemen of the Fatass Apocalypse everywhere you turn. I was going to take a headless picture of myself in some tight, hootchie mama clothing to prove my point, but then I chickened out. And I realized that I actually don’t even own those kinds of clothes! I’ve never been the flaunting-my-rolls kind of fat girl—I’m more of a does-this-come-in-a-burqa? kind of fat girl. Cover me up from head to toe, preferably in something shapeless. And how do they get those pictures anyway? It’s like they wait to ambush people when they are coming out of a Krispy Kreme with a donut in their hand (just for the record, I have never had a Krispy Kreme. Or a Cinnabon. So there). I’m just visualizing a stealthy reporter sneaking up on me and trying to take a headless picture while I’m at the Strip or something. I’ll get all Sean Penn on your ass, so don’t even try it!

What worries me more than the so-called  “crisis” is the “epidemic” of anti-fat hatred and judgemental rhetoric. If anti-fat hate speech worked as a weight loss technique, I would have wasted away a long time ago. Between the voices of the Wicked Stepmother (AKA Eating Disorder/The Disease) in my head and the actual insults that people feel compelled to say to my face (or yell at me from cars), I don’t really need any extra help, thanks. And whatever you do, don’t read the comments on any of these articles! Guaranteed to ruin your day or your money back.

Recently I watched the series Heavy on Netflix. It’s kind of like a cross between the Biggest Loser and Intervention. I had mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I liked that there was an emphasis put on the emotional health of the people on the show and how emotional eating/food addiction needed to be seriously addressed in order for them to make a true lifestyle change. But on the other hand, it was more of the same old Schadenfreude documentary school of Torture The Fat People With Workouts That Make Them Puke On Camera. And also, starve them. And subtly mock them with the camera when they complain about being starved. I could really relate to the one woman who rebelliously hid peanut butter in her room and when confronted about it, yelled that they couldn’t possibly expect her to exist on what they were feeding her while she was doing those kinds of workouts.

I also couldn’t stand the dietician they featured during the episodes that they shot in Texas. She kept referring to all of the clients as, “those people”. Really? What is this, 1950’s Alabama? Both of the dietician came across as very condescending. Can you read that label for me? Are you too stupid to read because you’re fat? I’m sorry, but most obese people know exactly what they should and shouldn’t be eating, just like drug addicts know that freebasing cocaine until they go into cardiac arrest  is not their best course of action, or alcoholics know that drinking until they throw up is a really shitty idea. Does that knowledge stop them from using their drug of choice to the point of danger and self-harm? Fuck no. Many of my fellow OA members can practically tell you calorie counts, fat grams, carb counts and Points of any given food while blindfolded. Did that knowledge stop any of us when we were in the middle of a massive food bender?

I’m feeling a wee bit feisty today, apparently! And while we’re at it, not all obese people eat shitty food. Some of us like tofu. Or, gasp, brown rice and vegetables. And Earth Balance…mmm…I used to reserve the super shitty food for when I was really, really hating myself. And then it would be natural cheetos and vegan ice cream. I’ve been known to binge on seitan satay, hiding in the walk-in cooler at work. Because when you’re a food addict, you can binge on anything.

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1 Comment

  1. Amen.

    I’ve been lucky for some reason and never received harrassing or hatefilled attacks on my weight to my face (just the occasional little kid saying why is that ladies butt so big) but I’m sick to death of the media attacks on overweight people and the government seems to be getting in on it too with talks of taxing us more, etc. It’s as if we are on of the only segments of the population that EVERYONE agrees can be abused and discriminated against with no repercussions.

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